Journey to Forgiveness
If every soul is innately positive, then they have the same set of virtues they had when they first came on the planet. Once they fall into body consciousness, they perform a lot of mistakes and we see actions and patterns of behavior. We forget that they still have the same virtues, but are simply suffering from deep patterns of fear, guilt, low self-esteem and usually anger whether passive or aggressive. The problem in not being able to see people with spiritual vision and thereby allowing myself to have positive feelings towards them, even when they underperform, is in essence, that I am not in the experience of my own virtue. Due to that, I get affected by the weakness or vice that they are manifesting (triggering) in me, only because I have that same weakness they are displaying.
So when I can’t think of a virtue or see that virtue in that person, it is because I can’t find it in myself when in their company or when thinking about them. This is due to the past memories still influencing my mind and thus my vision. So then the karma is not settled, it is still influencing the mind. We make a little effort to see the good in souls because our conscience says we should, but we have not forgiven otherwise it should be as if it never happened. The memory makes us judge, push away, avoid, deny and so we say everything is now ok but, is it as if it never happened?
So the only way you know you have forgiven someone is when you find all the benefit you gain from their negative behavior, that is, you have to turn it into a positive self-transformation and then you can truly appreciate them for helping you get back to your higher, empowered innate self. Then you don’t judge them for all the times in the past when they showed you your lower self reacting to their lower self and you are now able to forgive them.
The only time there is conflict in a relationship, is because our weakness (ego) was triggered by their ego and so we end up in a clash of egos and blame the other person’s ego for causing us pain. When in fact their ego just showed us our ego and we then foolishly accepted the sorrow they offered, when we could have said no thank you. However, we say “yes, I will take some” this is due to the past attachment I created to them, not due to their weakness. So we are blaming other people for sorrow due to our weakness and saying it was because of theirs.
That was a good method (the role they played for you) to detach from the ego “I” to a more objective vision. You can see how they might show their virtue with others (siblings, friends) but ego does not want to see that, because then it is a problem to admit (why do they show virtue to them and not to me). So, all of this is blocking us from seeing the truth of someone as we get caught up and lost in our own pain, fear and desire to be loved. This prevents us from seeing them as they are, and end up judging them for how they behave. Our vision gets distorted due to our own emptiness, desire to loved, recognized and acknowledged. That is, because of the pain I am in now, I no longer can experience another person’s beauty as I have lost my own.
So then the only proof that I have forgiven everyone is the constant experience of my own pure self. Then and only then, have I forgiven everyone. If I haven’t forgiven everyone, I have not forgiven anyone, and if I have not forgiven someone, I have not forgiven my self.